Text Message Stories

I went back through all of Me and Stevens Texts from last June through January and pulled all the stories that I thought were funny enough or cute enough to warrant sending a message about.

We're playing doctor right now. I asked Caden if I was going to make it and he said, "no. Not better. Ears icky." And Evelyn was in charge of my eye diagnosis and she held a tool up to my eye and said, "can you see?" And so I passed my eye exam. Easiest one ever. Then Caden told me to close m eyes, trust him and hold still he was going to give me a shot and I opened my eyes and he has his cap gun out giving me shots…

 

On the way home Evelyn asked if daddy was home so I told her daddy would be home a little later and Caden said "of course Stevens home!" Naughty. Then he asked when Santa's coming so your above Santa in Caden’s book. Caden’s rankings....Daddy, Santa, tractors, tools, Daisy, Mommy, church, potty training. I'm right down there with church and potty training

I told Caden he could have a snack until his dinosaurs were picked up and he runs in his room and yells what dinosaurs!? Then went and hid in the dining room closet…

 

Caden was just doing the funniest thing and I don't know if I can even explain it right but I'm gonna try.... He was sitting in his spider man papasaun chair bent over with his head between his legs, spanking himself through the chair yelling, "stop it hand! Stop it!"

So the first words out of Caden’s mouth this morning right after more milk were put mine cowboy boots on

Caden is adorable. He's discovered that my stomach is colder than he is so he's kept putting his face on my bare skin and saying I just love this big belly

OK so Caden is so funny. He was playing in the living room then all of a sudden runs up and locks there front door and says, " dats so dem tigers don't get in. Dey wrap their paws round and get in da house! "

We took a detour on the way back to see if my dad was working on northwest Blvd... He wasn't,... But then we got turned around and stupidly I said out loud, I have no idea where we are, so naturally Evelyn starts freaking out and saying how scared she is so Cade says, Eh.. There's nothing to be scared of. I don't see and bears anywhere! No bears, no big spiders, no little spiders, no baby bears. Nothing to be scared of.

The high light of the day so far is Evelyn just asked my dad who's tummy he came from

Apparently I got you take the body image talk down a bit... I just over heard Evelyn telling her Cinderella Barbie how great she looks since she lost all the weight

So at the chiropractor just waiting and they come out and call a Bill to the back and Caden gets up to go and I said wait buddy, mommy's name isn't Bill... Do you remember mommy's name? And he says mommy!... No buddy, mommy's first name?... Um, Becky!.... No.... Um, Jackie!.... No, nope buddy.

From Steven: How's your date with the Cade man going?

Me: Good. He's been singing a song with the lyrics of Evelyn's not home

Steven: Happy song or sad song?

Me: I'm gonna go with cheerful but indifferent

Caden talked me into giving him some crackers and as he's eating he's singing, best treat! Special treat!

Caden has specifically asked us to call him tootie from now on

Evelyn told me she needs to wear long pants to her horse lesson just in case she falls off the back when she says 'giddy up'

So Evelyn sang all the way to the gym and the best line ever was "sometimes your blind and Jesus can help you but sometimes you just need glasses"

I fell asleep after Caden woke up and we were snuggling and when I woke up again my arm was covered with stickers

Caden’s trying to get me to give him an advance on his milk allotment

Evelyn's walking around singing, I'm gonna rock this school!, so I think she's gonna be OK

We rented that rock and roll Barbie movie and are just having a hang out night and I went up to go potty and got distracted looking through the mail and pretty soon Evelyn come up and says, "mom! What's taking so long? Your missing out on some great singing!"

Evelyn prayed for you this morning. She also thanked that the food made her run so fast. Overall a good prayer

Caden picked up a new life lesson from the mountain... You don't pet deer because they'll hoof punch you in the pumpkin

 When we were at target there were twin little girls and Caden said, "wook mom! Day match!"

Me and Caden are trying to clean his room and he keeps crying about how his nose hurts so he has to just lay on his bed, so I told I knew what he was doing and just because his nose hurt doesn't mean he gets out of cleaning his room, and he looks at me and says but that is what I was trying

So I asked Evelyn if she still hung out with Ana and she said kinda, so I asked if they at least got to sit together on the bus and she said no that she sits by Anita now because she has better pencils....

Evelyn just had her first real bike crash. She rode down there hill into the back yard and smashed into the fence. Got her cheek pretty good. And once she settled down the first thing she said was, Caden said it was a good idea to race

Caden got in bed with me pretty much as soon as you left and at like 6 he rolls over and shouts, POWDER MY PENIS!

Caden said prayer all by himself for the first time tonight, it went something like thank you for dood, thank you for happy day, thank you for not being nice, thank you for listening, heavenly Father amen

Also, I just said out loud to myself, oh I forgot those stupid things at home, and Caden asked what stupid things? And me telling the truth and not thinking said oh your birthday party invitations... His response, "my birthdays not stupid mom! I'm telling dad you said my birthday and presents are stupid. I'll tell him...."

Caden wanted to go out on the deck so I asked him to bring me some shoes to put on him and he brought me one of his cow boy boots and one of my flip-flops....

And if Caden ever tells you, "it's OK dad, I'll take care of this tree mess." he's definitely filling your boots with fir needles

Well Steven, it's hard to believe after the morning I've had, but this little boy just went big pee and a big ole poopy in the potty! After which he proceeded to tell me all the colors he saw in his poop

Steven, I love that we have a mutual love for Christmas music, but if you listen to my reliant k Christmas, you gotta stop giving classical numbers the thumbs up. You are more than welcome to start your own Trans Siberian station, but your really messing with my punk rock Christmas vibe☺ (Sent in August)

I meant to tell you yesterday that Caden said to me, remember last Christmas when Santa brought me sippy cups?, and then told me ask the colors. It was super cute

Stayed up way to late but the kids slept until 703. Win for me☺ well that is until Evelyn decided it was a good idea to bring a bell to bed.....

you know how Caden lines you to look after he does his business, well when he asked me to just a minute ago he said, wook! It's wike a beaw poop!

Caden was giggling around the kitchen so I said Cade, are you a happy boy, and he says nope! I said aw are you a sad boy and he said nope! I'm a milk boy

So you know how you should never assume anything when it comes to Caden... I hadn't heard him in a bit and assumed he was playing on Evelyn's bed because that's been his go to hide away, oh no, he's in your closet with his meme, some tractors and that stuffed horse.... Just so Naughty!!

Caden is talking in his sleep extremely loud. Like get me out of bed and see what's up. Don't worry though, he was taking about you and his milk so it must have been a good dream but for the record, it's weird and I don't like that he does that.

I made homemade hummus and it’s really garlicky and me and Evelyn are snuggling and reading and she says something smells bad in here, but only when you talk

I've been compiling this list for you... Things I've literally said in the last 24hrs, mostly if not completely to Caden. Please don't eat the slush in the parking lot.... That's not a jungle gym... No mommy does not like that... Please don't put snow in mommy's jacket.... Why do you wanna take a bath in the dark.... Please don't lick GG...we do NOT kiss bummys.... Leave Evelyn's feet alone.... Well I wonder why no one wants to play a game with you.... Honey don't lick the chair...I don't care if he's a puppy, don't sniff each other like that.... And there one that started my list last night... Hey! Don't yank on that it's not a toy!

I just asked Caden if he would be interested in doing a race with us, and he said yes! But can I watch a show when we get back? So I said oh no buddy, I was just asking. We need to practice and the race would be in March. And his eyes lit up and he said I know how to march!

We Started our week out quite nice. We went up to the mountain and had a right nice time. Caden even got in some 'nuggle time with Papa...

 

And Jack

 It was a right nice part on Grammy and Papa's bed while we cleaned out the closet. Me and Evelyn are having a yard sale this summer, so Grammy had me sit on the bed and tell her what she should get rid of and sell and what keep.

 Evelyn found some lipstick in on of Grammy's old purses and asked if she could put it on. Grammy's response, 'Sure! Just go in the bathroom and use the mirror.' ...Because a 5 year old is just as accurate with a mirror and lipstick as without..HA

 And sweet Evelyn...she does not like people laughing at her, even when it's because she's funny or cute. And she comes out with lipstick everywhere, so I laugh...so to make up for it, I put some on too.

 And gave Caden a big ole forehead kiss

 This little boy loves the mountain. And I love that he loves it because every time he gets all tuckered out.

We had a friend over for dinner last weekend and BBQ'd but had a little mishap with the briquette starter...turns out the hot coals will fall from inside of it and catch your deck on fire...

 

I had my quarterly big headache this week. When I took this picture it was like and sent it to Steven, it was like, oh Kelsey's sick, but with in the hour I was throwing up and passed out in the tub. The worst part was I was watching a friends kid...it was a rough afternoon. Luckily though, I have my super pills and it only lasted about 4 hours instead of 3 days. I was up and running by 6 that evening.

 And...The cleaning fairy came to Evelyn's room while she was at school! She was so excited! The cleaning fairy was always one of my favorite personas of my mom, second only to Santa..who is real..

 And we also did this this last week...and predated it to make it seem like we did it when we first made her bed

 Sweet Caden was crying in the other room and Evelyn came running in to tell me he hit himself in the face with a necklace and boy did he ever...you can see the bead welts.

 

Evelyn is currently growing her hair out like Elsa and in an effort to keep it out of her face but still cute, I bought a topsy tail circa 1996

 This style, although cute, did not hold through a half day at kindergarten

This one was successful

And then we did what I swore up and down I would never do again...

 Although, last time we went to Chuck E Cheese it was a Saturday afternoon and it was so crowded you could literally not move around the games. This time we went with my friend and her husband and their little boy and there were like 5 other kids there. It's still stupid expensive though. one token= 33 cents...

 Caden found the sunglasses Papa got him over the summer and he has been wearing them ever since. even in the house

 The other day Caden was super helpful and even broke down the recycling boxes without being asked

 And I was not so smart the other day. I've been focusing my workouts on mainly cardio since it's been the most effective, and then decided to do a crazy two hour lifting workout after not having done weights in 3 months. I was sore the next day...but then the day after that I did it again and couldn't function that night. So I was just laying on the floor and kids were lovingly icing my tricepts

 Caden reclaimed his naughty status later this week by curb stomping the Ipad...we're still not sure the of the exact events leading up to this, just that it was on purpose and it was because Evelyn was trying to kick him out of her room.

The kids did start a Lincoln Log band called "The Hearts" this week which kept them very occupied

 

And the kids miss Steven so much during busy season when he is working crazy hours. They were so happy on Friday night to get to spend some time with him. They were so excited to play their favorite game...run at dad and have him push us down..

 

 

And on Saturday, tragedy struck in the form of Caden falling down the garage stairs and into an old shovel. I must say though, I think it went very smoothly. I grabbed him and a couple rags and wiped enough blood away to see we had to head out to the minor emergency while Evelyn grabbed another rag and was wiping up all the blood on the floor before we left. Now Evelyn has a flair for the dramatic but she stayed so calm and helpful the whole time.

 The doctor and nurses were so great. At one point, Caden was cold so they went and got him a nice warmed blanket.

He did so good, I couldn't even believe it. He didn't cry or whine once. Even when they did the actual stapling. He was a real trooper.

 

Andwhile we were waiting...and we waited a lot... Evelyn drew a nice depiction of when happened

 That's me at the top of the stairs, and Caden of course with the shovel, then the car and its exhaust

 And Evelyn did good too. They had her leave to room a few times just so she didn't freak Caden out. They didn't want her saying needle or staple out loud, so one of the nurses came and took her to get stickers.

 

And after a very long time, we were given our discharge orders. The doctor said to ..'wash the area with a mild soap, like baby soap, which I'm sure you already use.' To which I respond, "Actually, we've recently switched Old Spice because it's blue and he likes the way it smells." Oh boy...if looks could kill. Needless to say, she was not impressed that our 3yr old uses Old Spice and were asked to switch back to Johnson & Johnson.

 

And then when we were leaving, the nurse was walking us out and she said, "Well thanks for playing with me Evelyn and good luck with your band The Hearts." I'm still dying laughing about that one.

So of course we then went to Target to pick out a prize for being so brave. All in all it was  good day for Caden. He got a pretzel at target, a new truck, chicken nuggets for dinner, ice cream and he got to pick out their bed time story.

 After all was said and done, we were gone about 4 1/2 hours and made it home just in time for me and Evelyn to leave again. Her school was putting on the Jungle Book and a few of her friends were in it so we went on a nice little date.

 And then before bed, we played Lincoln Logs with the master and made  for Knox for Evelyn's My Little Pony's.

 I thought that since we had such a bust day, that the night would be a restful one since everyone was so tired. Turns out me and Steven were the only ones that were tired. The kids woke up multiple...multiple times. Evelyn was having really bad growing pains an Caden was just uncomfortable. But I was so tired I never heard Caden call for me so sweet Evelyn had to get out of bed to come and get me every time. It was a long night and an early morning, but they look so cute when they're sleeping...

I've come to terms with 1pm church

Our building only hosts two wards so we either have 9am church, which we love, or 1pm, which we a lot less than love. We were sick the first Sunday of the year, so last Sunday was our first one back on the 1pm schedule, and the morning was almost as long as church felt....And then this morning, it's like 10 and the house is clean and everyone is dressed and we're all basically looking at each other, like, what now? And Steven said I could do whatever I wanted....That NEVER happens. So my Sundays are now this. Turning Veggie Tales on for the kids and blogging. Not every Sunday, because, well, lets face it, one single week doesn't consist of blog worthy material, but today, we blog!


We tried to do at least some traditional Christmas type activities with the kids. Costco sold a pre-assembled gingerbread house this year so all you had to do was decorate it so we were all over that.

 Caden went to the barber for his first real big boy hair cut. He literally would throw punches at me when I would try to cut his hair. so Steven would hold his arms down and I would buzz the whole thing really quick. But we got a coupon for a $5 cut and I thought, worth it! And the Naughty little man just grinned at this lady nearly the whole time. He was on his best behavior and now he has a little man hair cut, just like his daddy.

 Speaking of naughty....whenever you can't find Caden, you know its nothing good...This time he was completely naked in his laundry basket....Why....

 

Grammy and Papa came to see us off before we left for Seattle to visit the Jarvis' for Christmas, and Caden, well, he's a lip kisser. and not just one kiss. Lots of lip kisses. Grammy was easy to persuade...

 But Papa...

 Not so much...

 Got him in the end though. Once you make eye contact, he's got ya

 

We knew it was going to be long drive when I look back and this is Evelyn before we even get to the freeway...

 We made it over without a puking episode. We got her Dramamine and it worked like a charm.
We even got a few naps on the way over

It was the longest driver over to Seattle that we had ever had at that point. We've been making that trip for the past 7 Christmases, and it took us 9 1/2 hrs to get there. But luckily, I had been doing some travel pinteresting before we left and was well prepared.

We had a really nice time in Seattle with David, Chelsey and Delaney. We got there after Delaney was sleeping and when she woke up in the morning she came right into me and Steven's room and when we got up to tell her she'd gotten the wrong room, she reached up for me to picker her up, so I did and held her for a minute then she reached over for Steven so he could do the same. So cute. We seriously hadn't seen her for a year and she's only two.. The kids had a great time with her

 I made chili and beans and tortillas for everyone one night and all Chelsey had for a rolling pin was and empty margarita bottle. No big deal, we improvised.

We had a lot of fun with them just hanging out and playing games *cough(Magic)*. Chelsey and I even ventured to make a whole turkey dinner. I'd seen whole turkeys be cooked, but this was a first in the hands on process. It was fairly gross and violent. I did pair it with a nice white wine gravy that was, not gonna lie, awesome. We called it our winter solstice feast.
We got to hang out with the rest of the family and cousins and what not the day before we left. For the family activity, Mama and Papa J took us to see the Good Dinosaur in a theater with the big recliner chairs. It was a lot of fun and the kids had a blast.
Then tragedy struck on Christmas eve eve, aka snow, and all the passes closed the day we were going home (on Christmas eve). I wouldn't of minded staying Christmas except all the family was on the mountain and Kelsey wanted to go home. So we took that alternate route through Oregon...the alternate 10 1/2 hour route. The kids did super good though. We had to basically pry them off of each other once due to some seriously impressive across car fighting and promptly stopped at a play ground so they could get their energy out...all in all, not a bad 10 hrs comparatively speaking. That's comparing flying 3 hrs with two kids, barely 4 and 18months, by yourself, when the 18 month old weighs 30 pounds and has to be a lap child on a full flight and the crack in front of you keeps turning around saying, "Can you just stop kicking my seat!" and your like, "What do you want me to do, his feet almost touch the ground."...you know...hypothetically...I'll take the 10 hour car ride where only a few punches are thrown.

But we made it!! Just in time for our favorite Christmas Eve tradition, S'mores. Don't worry, the kids made sure we put out the fire for Santa.

 SANTA CAME!!!!

 

Why I love Christmas on the mountain SO much!

 Caden and Uncle Jason looking at Caden's new photo album

 We found a plate Gma and Papa J had gotten Evelyn before Caden was born that had gotten lost in all of our moves. She was so happy it said her name.

 Oh yeah...so there was a whole lot of snow and a whole notta power....for a week. We made due, like we did just a few weeks previous. Good ole' Grammy's getting quite skilled at wood fire cookin'.

 And playing in the snow on Christmas

Eating in the dark

 And Everyone looked so cute going out to play that week.

 One of my better ideas...there was so much fresh snow I went and got snow cone paper and some flavored syrups and we had a snow cone party.

 Jakey and Caden opted for an alternative snack...

 And, yes, there is a reason they don't sell egg nog flavored snow cones...

 Then we spent a day on the farm and we all got a turn getting pulled on sleds behind the buggy

 

Cooking Chili by lantern light. My dad did get the generator fired up to we could have water and flush the toilets, and of course watch tv. BUT if you flushed the toiled while the TV was on, it would shut everything off. The first time Evelyn had to go potty after the power was back, she asked if she could flush, and I said yes, and she said, well...should we turn some lights off first?

Santa brought the kids these really cool bath color fizzers and they're really pretty and fun....when  used correctly...

 When someone sets the whole jar open on the edge of the tub and doesn't tell you and then you turn around and knock the whole thing in the tub...not so pretty

Evelyn got a Belgium waffle maker so we've been having a lot of fancy waffles 

 And I did it again...I think 'I' in this situation can be used loosely. Those kids put anything and everything in their laundry baskets, and most the time, I sort through it, I find the odd item. other laundry days like this one, I find hangers, rocks, chapstick, toys, and the dreaded diaper. This particular day, I found all of the above. I hope you never have the pleasure of washing a diaper...

 

And disaster strikes again, as it does every year. this year at least, we held out until the end of December. I was the first in our house to have it...it being the most violent flu I have ever had. Promptly followed by Steven and lastly Caden. I will say this though, after the many, many...many times we've had sickness in our house, this time went the smoothest. I had back stock of all medicines, extra sheets, Costco packs of Lysol and paper towels (if your wondering, why paper towels, you've never been puked on properly) and extra laundry soap. All of which I have ran out of in the past. The first night Caden had it, from midnight to 7 the next morning I did 5 loads of laundry and can add, cleaned puke off of tractor loft bed, to my list of manys'.

 

To entertain Evelyn when Caden was sick, we took some selfies, which she loves.

 On New Years day, we had to run some early, early morning errands for a few more sick staples and since it was a holiday, Evelyn wanted to dress up.

It was a super short sickness, I had it for just under 24hrs, Steven had it a little longer and Caden for a little over 2 days. But quick in comparison to past times

 

Caden, up and better, was playing 'Papa' one day in his neon yellow and construction vest.

 And Evelyn scratching my head. Best. Daughter. Ever.

 And this is why when I do laundry, I can't leave folded clothes alone for even a minute....

 And! Our household was selected to participate in random surveys and they send me cold hard cash...well one dollar at a time but it's fun.

 And since we didn't eat so well for a few days over the holidays, me and Steven decided to do a juice cleanse. it was just this juice that you have before breakfast and again at dinner for five days. Steven warned me it was fairly awful, so I had my camera ready for my first drink

 And poor Caden fell down in the Target parking lot. He slipped in the ice, and didn't even catch himself with his hands when he fell so he hit hard, then slid under my cart. I'm sure it was a sight to see.

 Then sickness strikes again as what I thought was a head cold. And when my nose is stuffy, I find that the breath right things that are supposed to help with snoring, do wonders for congestion

 And worst decision ever, the kids pooled their piggy banks and we wen to Chuck E Cheese...on a Saturday afternoon... you know one token at that place is 33 cents. That's so stupid. The kids had $10 and it was spent within an hour and we were done. Hopefully never to return

 But best decision ever....a two dozen cupcake pan. It bakes them more evenly then two pans and its like, 15 minutes and done with making cupcakes.

 We were going to do a little photo shoot before church because the kids looked so cute, but me camera battery was dead so all I have a few from my phone. This little suit Caden has on, I bought a few months ago because it was so inexpensive, and literally the week before Christmas I had him try it on and it was way too long, then the week after New Year, oh it's nearly an inch above his ankles...

 

So...Then Evelyn gets sick, but a different sick. She has a fever that just won't break so we go in, and it's strep...and what I thought was a head cold for me...was strep. Poor little girl had to miss 3 days of school.

 So Caden was a big helper while mommy and Evelyn were sick helping me pound chicken

It was going good too until her took his little hammer and started mangling the chicken

 Can life get any better for this little boy...

 I was heading out one morning to do a few errands and Caden comes up to me with this and said he made me out a list, we need milk. You have to look close, but he drew a gallon of milk

 And then every few weeks I let the kids rent a redbox movie and they each get to make their own pizza and we have a pizza party down stairs and watch a show on the big TV. It's a big deal around here...