Text Message Stories

I went back through all of Me and Stevens Texts from last June through January and pulled all the stories that I thought were funny enough or cute enough to warrant sending a message about.

We're playing doctor right now. I asked Caden if I was going to make it and he said, "no. Not better. Ears icky." And Evelyn was in charge of my eye diagnosis and she held a tool up to my eye and said, "can you see?" And so I passed my eye exam. Easiest one ever. Then Caden told me to close m eyes, trust him and hold still he was going to give me a shot and I opened my eyes and he has his cap gun out giving me shots…

 

On the way home Evelyn asked if daddy was home so I told her daddy would be home a little later and Caden said "of course Stevens home!" Naughty. Then he asked when Santa's coming so your above Santa in Caden’s book. Caden’s rankings....Daddy, Santa, tractors, tools, Daisy, Mommy, church, potty training. I'm right down there with church and potty training

I told Caden he could have a snack until his dinosaurs were picked up and he runs in his room and yells what dinosaurs!? Then went and hid in the dining room closet…

 

Caden was just doing the funniest thing and I don't know if I can even explain it right but I'm gonna try.... He was sitting in his spider man papasaun chair bent over with his head between his legs, spanking himself through the chair yelling, "stop it hand! Stop it!"

So the first words out of Caden’s mouth this morning right after more milk were put mine cowboy boots on

Caden is adorable. He's discovered that my stomach is colder than he is so he's kept putting his face on my bare skin and saying I just love this big belly

OK so Caden is so funny. He was playing in the living room then all of a sudden runs up and locks there front door and says, " dats so dem tigers don't get in. Dey wrap their paws round and get in da house! "

We took a detour on the way back to see if my dad was working on northwest Blvd... He wasn't,... But then we got turned around and stupidly I said out loud, I have no idea where we are, so naturally Evelyn starts freaking out and saying how scared she is so Cade says, Eh.. There's nothing to be scared of. I don't see and bears anywhere! No bears, no big spiders, no little spiders, no baby bears. Nothing to be scared of.

The high light of the day so far is Evelyn just asked my dad who's tummy he came from

Apparently I got you take the body image talk down a bit... I just over heard Evelyn telling her Cinderella Barbie how great she looks since she lost all the weight

So at the chiropractor just waiting and they come out and call a Bill to the back and Caden gets up to go and I said wait buddy, mommy's name isn't Bill... Do you remember mommy's name? And he says mommy!... No buddy, mommy's first name?... Um, Becky!.... No.... Um, Jackie!.... No, nope buddy.

From Steven: How's your date with the Cade man going?

Me: Good. He's been singing a song with the lyrics of Evelyn's not home

Steven: Happy song or sad song?

Me: I'm gonna go with cheerful but indifferent

Caden talked me into giving him some crackers and as he's eating he's singing, best treat! Special treat!

Caden has specifically asked us to call him tootie from now on

Evelyn told me she needs to wear long pants to her horse lesson just in case she falls off the back when she says 'giddy up'

So Evelyn sang all the way to the gym and the best line ever was "sometimes your blind and Jesus can help you but sometimes you just need glasses"

I fell asleep after Caden woke up and we were snuggling and when I woke up again my arm was covered with stickers

Caden’s trying to get me to give him an advance on his milk allotment

Evelyn's walking around singing, I'm gonna rock this school!, so I think she's gonna be OK

We rented that rock and roll Barbie movie and are just having a hang out night and I went up to go potty and got distracted looking through the mail and pretty soon Evelyn come up and says, "mom! What's taking so long? Your missing out on some great singing!"

Evelyn prayed for you this morning. She also thanked that the food made her run so fast. Overall a good prayer

Caden picked up a new life lesson from the mountain... You don't pet deer because they'll hoof punch you in the pumpkin

 When we were at target there were twin little girls and Caden said, "wook mom! Day match!"

Me and Caden are trying to clean his room and he keeps crying about how his nose hurts so he has to just lay on his bed, so I told I knew what he was doing and just because his nose hurt doesn't mean he gets out of cleaning his room, and he looks at me and says but that is what I was trying

So I asked Evelyn if she still hung out with Ana and she said kinda, so I asked if they at least got to sit together on the bus and she said no that she sits by Anita now because she has better pencils....

Evelyn just had her first real bike crash. She rode down there hill into the back yard and smashed into the fence. Got her cheek pretty good. And once she settled down the first thing she said was, Caden said it was a good idea to race

Caden got in bed with me pretty much as soon as you left and at like 6 he rolls over and shouts, POWDER MY PENIS!

Caden said prayer all by himself for the first time tonight, it went something like thank you for dood, thank you for happy day, thank you for not being nice, thank you for listening, heavenly Father amen

Also, I just said out loud to myself, oh I forgot those stupid things at home, and Caden asked what stupid things? And me telling the truth and not thinking said oh your birthday party invitations... His response, "my birthdays not stupid mom! I'm telling dad you said my birthday and presents are stupid. I'll tell him...."

Caden wanted to go out on the deck so I asked him to bring me some shoes to put on him and he brought me one of his cow boy boots and one of my flip-flops....

And if Caden ever tells you, "it's OK dad, I'll take care of this tree mess." he's definitely filling your boots with fir needles

Well Steven, it's hard to believe after the morning I've had, but this little boy just went big pee and a big ole poopy in the potty! After which he proceeded to tell me all the colors he saw in his poop

Steven, I love that we have a mutual love for Christmas music, but if you listen to my reliant k Christmas, you gotta stop giving classical numbers the thumbs up. You are more than welcome to start your own Trans Siberian station, but your really messing with my punk rock Christmas vibe☺ (Sent in August)

I meant to tell you yesterday that Caden said to me, remember last Christmas when Santa brought me sippy cups?, and then told me ask the colors. It was super cute

Stayed up way to late but the kids slept until 703. Win for me☺ well that is until Evelyn decided it was a good idea to bring a bell to bed.....

you know how Caden lines you to look after he does his business, well when he asked me to just a minute ago he said, wook! It's wike a beaw poop!

Caden was giggling around the kitchen so I said Cade, are you a happy boy, and he says nope! I said aw are you a sad boy and he said nope! I'm a milk boy

So you know how you should never assume anything when it comes to Caden... I hadn't heard him in a bit and assumed he was playing on Evelyn's bed because that's been his go to hide away, oh no, he's in your closet with his meme, some tractors and that stuffed horse.... Just so Naughty!!

Caden is talking in his sleep extremely loud. Like get me out of bed and see what's up. Don't worry though, he was taking about you and his milk so it must have been a good dream but for the record, it's weird and I don't like that he does that.

I made homemade hummus and it’s really garlicky and me and Evelyn are snuggling and reading and she says something smells bad in here, but only when you talk

I've been compiling this list for you... Things I've literally said in the last 24hrs, mostly if not completely to Caden. Please don't eat the slush in the parking lot.... That's not a jungle gym... No mommy does not like that... Please don't put snow in mommy's jacket.... Why do you wanna take a bath in the dark.... Please don't lick GG...we do NOT kiss bummys.... Leave Evelyn's feet alone.... Well I wonder why no one wants to play a game with you.... Honey don't lick the chair...I don't care if he's a puppy, don't sniff each other like that.... And there one that started my list last night... Hey! Don't yank on that it's not a toy!

I just asked Caden if he would be interested in doing a race with us, and he said yes! But can I watch a show when we get back? So I said oh no buddy, I was just asking. We need to practice and the race would be in March. And his eyes lit up and he said I know how to march!